Oh, Mother

I’ve found that children’s haircuts are among my least favorite to do. Young children tend to move around a lot, making my job (which involves very sharp scissors next to their ears) darn near impossible. Even if they do stay still, that is a relative term. More often though, the child is a sweet little angel who holds still and is quiet, possibly from fear of a stranger holding the aforementioned sharp tools. BUT the parents can be a chore. They can be way too picky, as in “get his hair out of his eyes, but don’t cut off his curls, but don’t make him look like a girl, but make his hair a lot shorter.” Or they can be too demanding, not understanding that when their child is crying and/or squirming more than a worm full of itching powder, they may not come out with a perfect haircut. Generally, kids’ cuts take longer. Yet for some reason, children’s cuts are cheaper than adult cuts.

So far, the worst I’ve had is a lady that wanted her daughter to have the “Posh Spice.” You know, short hair, stacked in back. This cut is difficult to make perfect even on a motionless adult, let alone a sleepy 6 year old. It was taking a while, since the child’s head kept drooping. I was almost done when the mom started to get impatient. My shears were on the table and I was dong one final run through with my fingers to check for evenness. The mom, exasperated that the cut wasn’t done in 15 minutes (impossible, btw) said “let me show you how I do it at home” and then proceeded to pick up my shears to use. I said “actually, I’d prefer if you didn’t touch those” and took them back out of her hand.

There are so many things wrong with this. You never, ever touch a professional’s tools, be it a hairstylist, baker, doctor, mechanic, whatever. Chances are, these tools are very expensive, and the company’s insurance does not cover untrained civilians playing with them. Secondly, if you do it at home so well, why did you tote you child(ren) into the mall so you could pay money to have someone else do it?

Needless to say, the lady was not happy with her daughter’s cut. I admit, it wasn’t perfect, but it was good as it could be with a helicopter mom and a squirmy child. I didn’t get a tip, but I got a story to tell.

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