trained

A lady came to get her hair cut, and she was in a wheelchair. While we did our thing, her husband waited patiently in the lobby, obviously used to accompanying her on errands. Suddenly she remembered that she had left the coupon in the car.

“Ed! Go get me that coupon. It’s in the car somewhere!”

She didn’t say it in a mean way, or bitchy at all, but he obediently put down his newspaper and walked out, without saying a word. I remarked on it, finding it odd that he didn’t even say “ok” or “yes dear.”

“After 43 years, he knows better. This is why I could never get rid of him. Even if I wanted to, I’m too old to start over. I’ve got him just how I like him.”

Hopefully it was a symbiotic relationship and they were both happy.

 

 

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leave it to the pros, please

A man walked up and asked if I had time for his mother in law. To do what? I asked. He beckoned her over, as she had been standing outside of the shop where I couldn’t see her. “She doesn’t speak any English” he explained, as she walked up nervously.

I could see immediately what she needed. This poor woman was the victim of a Bad Haircut. Notice the capital letters. It was that bad.

So I had her come back to my chair and sit down. I was looking at the damage, exchanging meaningful looks since I don’t speak Russian. (She was from Belarus.) The parts above her ears were cut down almost to the skin, while the top and back were choppy, with several inches’ difference in the same areas. It looked like she had gotten in a fight with a rusty weedwhacker and lost.  By now her daughter (the man’s wife) had joined us. I made a comment that I didn’t have much to work with on the sides, when it came out that the daughter was the one who had cut her hair. Usually when I correct a haircut it’s because a young child found scissors, not because a grown woman thought she could do her mother’s hair “real quick”.

The son in law had gone to have one of the other girls cut his hair, which was just as well, as all he was doing was cracking (mean) jokes – telling me I should just shave her head and whatnot. So the daughter was now my translator. This was especially awkward since she was the one that had inflicted the damage. So I did what I could with the poor woman’s hair. It wasn’t a designer haircut by any means (see the aforementioned bald sides), but it looked …better. I think the woman understood that and we were able to convey to each other that I did my best and it was acceptable.

The kicker was that by now the husband was done with his cut as well. He just had a normal men’s haircut, not too different from what he walked in with, but his wife said “I don’t like it.” She went on to criticize why it was bad while my coworker refuted her with why it was, in fact, not bad. I bit my tongue, but I wanted so badly to say to the woman “LOOK! Look at what you did to your mother’s hair! Nobody, especially a licensed professional, is going to be taking your advice on haircuts!” But I was good and didn’t say anything. I know for a fact her mother won’t be letting her cut her hair again, and the husband liked his cut, so she didn’t win in the long run.

Pet peeves

I am positive this will be an ever-growing list.

 

1. Helicopter parents

You know the ones. They’re all up in your business, telling you how to do your job, because clearly they know what’s best for their little angel. But they probably won’t discipline him or help him to sit still.

2. Overbearing wives / girlfriends

No offense to those members of my gender, but seriously – Girls, let your man have his own say in his haircuts. He’s an adult. He should not have to ask you if it looks ok. When I ask what he wants done, he should not have to say “ask her.” He should be able to look in the mirror and judge for himself whether or not he even needs a haircut, and then if so, whether or not he is pleased with it.

3.  Perfectionists / Nitpickers

And no, I don’t mean nitpickers in the literal sense. I prefer that people with lice don’t sit in my chair at all.

I mean the people that tell me I’ve “missed a spot” when I’m clearly not finished with their cut. If you are still sitting in my chair, wearing a cape, and my shears are still in hand, that’s called I’m not finished with your haircut yet. If I take you up to the register to pay, and you notice that one side is longer than the other, then yes, I did miss a spot. But that doesn’t happen since I double, triple, and maybe quadruple check it. Let me do that before you butt in.

I wish I could complete both sides of your head simultaneously, but as of writing this, I do not yet possess that power.

 

more to come…..