ringlets no more

A dad brought his 4-year old son in for his first “real” haircut. He’d been trimmed at home, but he still had his beautiful baby ringlets. Dad was ready for him to look “more like a boy,” so he wanted quite a bit of length taken off. After discussing it, Dad said to go ahead and make it a full mohawk: skin on the sides, and enough length taken off the top so that it would stand up on its own. I asked him several times if he was sure, and reminded him that those ringlets would not come back. He was sure, and of course the boy was totally into it. And just for funsies, let’s put in some colored gel to make the mohawk blue and super spiky.

As I was shaving the boy’s head, I asked if Mom knew he was getting a haircut. Apparently she knew he was getting it cut, but not this haircut. I asked the dad to not blame me when Mom flipped out from him cutting off all of her baby’s beautiful hair. The dad just chuckled.

Although I never did hear from the mom, so I still wonder how the new ‘do went over at home.

the 10- minute knot

A 7 year old girl and her mom came in to get the girl’s hair cut. I had to spend several minutes combing out all the tangles before I even asked how much we were cutting. The little girl wanted it off. ALL OFF. She had shoulder-length hair and wanted it taken down to a stacked bob. I verified that this was ok with the mom, and proceeded.

During the cut, the little girl explained that her hair got tangled very easily and she didn’t like brushing it, so that’s why she wanted to cut it short. I agreed that it had been a challenge to keep knot-free. In face, she said “just this morning, I had such a big knot in my hair that it took us about 10 minutes to even get it out!” That seemed like a little much, but the mother verified it.

When the cut was done, the little girl absolutely loved it. The mom didn’t seem too pleased with the new ‘do, saying only “it’s short. It’s really short.” But when the girl and I reminded her of the 10-minute knot, the mom couldn’t argue with results.

the ultimate reward

Usually when a child does not like getting his hair cut, the parents bribe him. (I am using the masculine here because more often than not, it is a little boy.) We offer lollipops in the shop, and sometimes that is good enough. Sometimes, it’s something outside of the store, like McDonalds, a cupcake, a donut, etc. However, I had a 4-year old boy in my chair that was being bribed with the ultimate reward: a puppy.

Every time the child wriggled or cried, his mom would say “Remember, if you’re good for your haircut, we’re going to go get a puppy after this!” Frankly, I don’t think the bribe was working, as he did not make it a very easy cut. But even as they walked out the door (complete with lollipop as well), the mom could not stop reminding him where they were going.

I’m hoping the puppy was really for Mom, because I would not trust that kid with a living creature. Plus he did not deserve it.

Also: I want a puppy just for sitting through a haircut too!

diapers

A family was waiting while their child was getting his hair cut by another stylist. It was a slow day, so I was cleaning up the lobby a little bit, and I could overhear the parents talking about how the baby needed his diaper changed. The mom approached me and said “excuse me, can I change his diaper here?” indicating the chairs in the lobby.

“No,” I replied, a little aghast. “That is incredibly unsanitary. If State Board came in right now, we would get so many fines!”

That is a true statement. I figured I didn’t need to tell her that it was also disgusting and would offend not only the employees,  but turn off any potential clients that walked through the door to smell and see a dirty diaper. Another employee suggested she use the bathroom, and she brought in some towels for the baby to lie on. This was more acceptable, except that when I went into the bathroom later, the towels were still layed out. They went immediately into the wash.

short hair reasoning

A lady came in to get her hair cut. and I mean ALL her hair cut. She was tired of long hair, and decided to get rid of it and donate to Locks of Love. As I cut off the 16 inches and styled her new sassy ‘do, she told me that her 8-year old daughter also has long hair. She figured that once the girl saw Mom’s hair, she would want her hair cut too. (ps- this makeover would be a surprise to everyone.)

Turns out that the girl not only has long hair, but it’s a really pretty shade of “strawberry blonde, with lots of extra strawberry.” People are always commenting and complimenting her on it, but she hates the attention. “Mommy, I wish I was brown like everyone else,” she has said. So the mom figured that her own newly short hair, plus the added benefit of (hopefully) less popularity, would convince the girl that she should go short (and donate) as well.

I gave the lady a coupon, and told her to bring her daughter on in, because I want to see this fabled hair.

Miscommunication part 2

A 14-year old boy wanted his haircut. I cut the sides & back down with clippers, as was in the notes from last time. When I asked him how short he wanted the top, he mumbled “I don’t know.” Jokingly, I said “well if you don’t know, I’ll just do it all the same length as the sides!” He mumbled “that’s ok.” I said “so you want it that short?” He mumbled more agreements, so I went on. I gave him several more chances to clarify or change his mind, but he didn’t, so I used clippers all over his head.

When he walked out to the lobby, his mom was surprised. I explained that I asked him about it, and she said it was fine. She wasn’t mad, and the kid didn’t show any reaction.

It turns out that the kid doesn’t like talking to adults, and so even though he wanted something different, he didn’t say so. But his mom knew this was a possibility, so she didn’t blame me. And yes, I realize that the kid may have had a mental disorder, but his mother was confident enough to leave him by himself, so I don’t think this was the case. Maybe it will help him get the courage to speak to adults though.

it’s a trap!

I was cutting the hair of a shaggy-haired young man, probably in his mid-twenties. He wanted to keep his hair a bit shaggy, and explained that he had always had long hair, even though his mom hated it. In fact, when he was a teenager and was getting his wisdom teeth pulled, he was put under general anesthesia. When he woke up, not only were his teeth removed but his head was shaved. His mom denied doing it,  but really who else could it have been? So ever since then, he kept his hair extra unkempt, just to spite her.

leave it to the pros, please

A man walked up and asked if I had time for his mother in law. To do what? I asked. He beckoned her over, as she had been standing outside of the shop where I couldn’t see her. “She doesn’t speak any English” he explained, as she walked up nervously.

I could see immediately what she needed. This poor woman was the victim of a Bad Haircut. Notice the capital letters. It was that bad.

So I had her come back to my chair and sit down. I was looking at the damage, exchanging meaningful looks since I don’t speak Russian. (She was from Belarus.) The parts above her ears were cut down almost to the skin, while the top and back were choppy, with several inches’ difference in the same areas. It looked like she had gotten in a fight with a rusty weedwhacker and lost.  By now her daughter (the man’s wife) had joined us. I made a comment that I didn’t have much to work with on the sides, when it came out that the daughter was the one who had cut her hair. Usually when I correct a haircut it’s because a young child found scissors, not because a grown woman thought she could do her mother’s hair “real quick”.

The son in law had gone to have one of the other girls cut his hair, which was just as well, as all he was doing was cracking (mean) jokes – telling me I should just shave her head and whatnot. So the daughter was now my translator. This was especially awkward since she was the one that had inflicted the damage. So I did what I could with the poor woman’s hair. It wasn’t a designer haircut by any means (see the aforementioned bald sides), but it looked …better. I think the woman understood that and we were able to convey to each other that I did my best and it was acceptable.

The kicker was that by now the husband was done with his cut as well. He just had a normal men’s haircut, not too different from what he walked in with, but his wife said “I don’t like it.” She went on to criticize why it was bad while my coworker refuted her with why it was, in fact, not bad. I bit my tongue, but I wanted so badly to say to the woman “LOOK! Look at what you did to your mother’s hair! Nobody, especially a licensed professional, is going to be taking your advice on haircuts!” But I was good and didn’t say anything. I know for a fact her mother won’t be letting her cut her hair again, and the husband liked his cut, so she didn’t win in the long run.

Are you sure?

The problem with high fashion magazines is that they are not real. We have them in the shop to use as jumping off points (nobody really wants those right?), but most people understand that their hair won’t look exactly like that. There is a team of hair, makeup, and wardrobe professionals, plus a professional model and photoshop. Not to mention that everyone’s hair is different, like the 20 year old white woman in the photo versus the 5 year old Mexican girl in my chair.

The girl’s hair was long and straight, and she wanted a very short, asymmetrical cut. I asked her and her mom several times: “Are you sure you want to cut this much off? Are you positive you want to lose like 10 inches of hair?” They both assured me several times that they were. so I cut all the length off and moved to the bangs. I made them look cute, but the mom said “no, I want them exactly like the picture. The picture is shorter.” I asked again if she was sure, and I even said “I don’t want to take the bangs that short.” but she insists. Exactly like the picture. Lo and behold, as soon as I take them shorter, the mom gasps. She tells her daughter (in Spanish) that the cut is horrible and now she’s ugly.

So many things wrong with this.

1. The girl will never be ugly. She is absolutely sweet and adorable with her toothless grin, and one of the best behaved children to ever sit in my chair.
2. Why would you tell her she’s ugly? Now you’re stressing her out and possibly giving her self confidence issues.
3. Bitch, I speak Spanish. Even if I didn’t, I know the word “horrible.”

Then the mom tells me “just stop. We need to go now.” I’ve gotten in trouble before from a mom leaving before I was ready (and then coming back angry of course), so I wouldn’t let her. She can’t leave until I’m finished. But she protests every time I touch the girl’s hair. I’m flustered, so I step back and get my coworker to assist. she does the finishing touches on the cut, and they appear to be satisfied. No tip of course, but you know I would have given it to my coworker. (I told her I do owe her lunch though.)

My coworker told me later that she heard me asking “are you sure?” all those times, so she knew something was up. I’m thankful she understood my flustration and was willing to help.

Mom’s not in a hurry for that

A mother brought her 7 year old son in for his first “big boy” haircut. He’d had his hair cut before, but it was still long (and an awful bowl cut). At first, she just wanted it out of his eyes, and trimmed everywhere. So I did that. But the child kept insisting he wanted it shorter, so finally she gave in, saying “he’s old enough now to make up his own mind. I’ll pay you extra for your time.” So I went a little shorter, more of a “boys” cut.

When I was almost done, the mom got up and walked away, without saying a word. It turns out she had gotten one of my coworkers to ring her out, even though I was about 2 minutes away from being finished. When I did finish, I walked him over to get her approval. She didn’t even look at it but said “yeah that’s fine.” And they left.

Not only did she not “pay me extra for my time” she didn’t even tip me. I’m not sure if she didn’t like what I had done, or she was suddenly in a hurry or something, or she was suddenly overcome by emotion on seeing her child grow up, but she left without saying a word.